Money is personal. Your relationship with your advisor is supposed to be personal. And if ultimately that personal relationship isn’t built on truth & trust — well, then what kind of relationship is that? But sometimes, as you may see in some of these posts, the truth can hit home & hard.

You may be one of these clients or advisors. It’s supposed to be funny not because Adam is really making fun of you. He’s making fun of the perceptions we’ve all been taught by the incumbent Wall Street firms. So, without further ado… Here’s Adam.

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Money is personal. Your relationship with your advisor is supposed to be personal. And if ultimately that personal relationship isn’t built on truth & trust — well, then what kind of relationship is that? But sometimes, as you may see in some of these posts, the truth can hit home & hard.

You may be one of these clients or advisors. It’s supposed to be funny not because Adam is really making fun of you. He’s making fun of the perceptions we’ve all been taught by the incumbent Wall Street firms.

“I hear what you’re saying, and you’re probably right, but…. ”

Sh#t My Clients Say
By Adam Scott, Senior Investment Adviser, GDP Wealth

What I’m thinking:

What if they’re right (about me maybe not being right)?? I mean, I could be wrong, right? Wait- grow a pair, Adam, this is your job. They pay YOU to make these decisions for THEM. You can’t hem-and-haw. You’ll never get it exactly right, there will be an element of ‘wrong’ in every trade you ever make. That’s the risk, that’s your JOB. Do it. DO IT!!

What I want to say:

Ok, first let’s review — You hired me to manage your money for one or more of the following reasons:

1. You don’t know how to do it yourself.
2. You don’t want to do it yourself; you prefer to have a professional (or me) make these decisions & take some of the onus off of you.
3. You want someone to blame when things are choppy.

This would be like going to a strip club & suggesting that you are the one to disrobe and insisting you pay the young woman to watch you do so. (I have done this, by the way) [Editor's Note: That's a true story]

2. You don’t want to do it yourself.

This is sort of like when my girlfriend asks me what she should order at a restaurant. She might even narrow the choice down to two options for me, making my job that much easier. I choose one of the two and, invariably, her response is “Really? Are you sure you don’t want [the other choice]??”

3. You want someone to blame when things are choppy.

Did you hear the story about the girl who graduated from Monroe College a few years back and wasn’t able to find a job? She felt justified in suing her alma mater for the entirety of her tuition costs, $72,000. I wonder if, conversely, she would have made a large donation if she had graduated during an economic boom and secured a large starting salary.

What I actually say:

“I really want you to consider this change. Take a day or two to think about it. If you insist we leave things as they are, ultimately it is your money and your decision. You’re the CEO, I’m just trying to give you the best advice I can as your professional. Remember, I only earn more when your account value goes up — I don’t have a hidden agenda — we are in this together (unlike your retail broker).

I’ll give you a call tomorrow to review again, how does that sound?”

My friend Adam and I talked about this post a lot before we hit publish. Here’s why.

Money is personal. Your relationship with your advisor is supposed to be personal. And if ultimately that personal relationship isn’t built on truth & trust — well, then what kind of relationship is that? But sometimes, as you may see in some of these posts, the truth can hit home & hard. You may be one of these clients or advisors. It’s supposed to be funny not because Adam is really making fun of you. He’s making fun of the perceptions you’ve been taught by the incumbent Wall Street firms.

So, without further ado… Adam & his new series, Sh#t my clients say.

Sh#t My Clients Say
By Adam Scott, Senior Investment Advisor, GDP Wealth

I’ve been in this business long enough to have seen both bull and bear markets begin, mature, and end. While there is really very little funny about a bear market while it’s unfolding, the unintentional comedy that results almost makes the pain worthwhile. It is my belief that there is an unlimited supply of comedy hidden in the irrationalities of our clients’ panicked/overconfident behaviors. My guess is that these posts will resonate with some, if not all of you, and my goal is that this becomes a shared forum one day….

My new weekly editorial/comedy piece on the insanity-isms of my clients begins with the following -ism:

“What do you think the market’s going to do tomorrow? Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to buy (or sell)?”

What I’m thinking:

“Do you really think I have the answer to that question? Do you really think my job is that easy? Somehow, I’m the capital markets’ equivalent of the Southern California Meteorologist? “Oh, look at that — Sunny & 70 tomorrow; again”. Wait- catch yourself, Adam. They have to THINK you know what the market’s going to do tomorrow. They are paying you to know what the market’s going to do. But I don’t know what the market’s going to do. Make something up! For the love of God just say something that sounds smart. What are some of those Series 7 vocabulary words?? Use one! You don’t even have to use it properly!”

What I want to say:

“Tomorrow is going to be a Flash Crash and we should sell everything on the open, then be prepared to get back in as soon as the Flash Crash ends, right when the VIX breaks 40. Can you be available at 11:25am?”

What I actually say:

“I think today is as good a day as any to make these changes. Remember- nothing is set in stone & we can chat again tomorrow to review things if you like. I’m always here for you. And if something comes up for you, you can always email me. How does that sound? Otherwise, we’ll talk again next week. Thanks so much for everything!”