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Germany: This is finally your chance…

How can the Germans not see the current European crisis as a chance to pay the world back for their past sins? What a nominal price to pay for the error of their ways just 60+ years ago. Just bail out the rest of Europe already. You know you want to. Everybody’s doing it….

Angela Merkel is that one girl at the “easy” sorority who just won’t cave. The one who thinks that, by affiliating with the most promiscuous girls on campus, her own “lesser” flaws (cheating on tests, lying to her parents, and experimenting with gateway drugs) will make her look angelic by association.

Perhaps we’re not selling the concept of redemption well enough to the Germans: This is an opportunity to step up and improve international relations for the rest of the 21st century. Do they not care? Do they not see the importance? Something tells me that if Americans stopped buying Mercedeseses and Braun coffee makers the Germans might not feel quite as comfortable continuing to take such a hardened stance towards everybody.

I mean, sure, they gave us rockets and Einstein. Gummi Bears and Adidas. Arguably, the automobile. Oh, movable type and the antenna…But what have you done for us lately, Germany?? Heidi Klum, you say? Good point. And thank you. As you were….