Money is personal. Your relationship with your advisor is supposed to be personal. And if ultimately that personal relationship isn’t built on truth & trust — well, then what kind of relationship is that? But sometimes, as you may see in some of these posts, the truth can hit home & hard.
You may be one of these clients or advisors. It’s supposed to be funny not because I’m really making fun of you. I’m making fun of the perceptions we’ve all been taught by the incumbent Wall Street firms. So, without further ado…
Sh#t My Clients Say
“I hear what you’re saying, and you’re probably right, but…. “
What I’m thinking:
What if they’re right (about me maybe not being right)?? I mean, I could be wrong, right? Wait- grow a pair, this is your job. They pay YOU to make these decisions for THEM. You can’t hem-and-haw. You’ll never get it exactly right, there will be an element of ‘wrong’ in every trade you ever make. That’s the risk, that’s your JOB. Do it. DO IT!!
What I want to say:
Ok, first let’s review — You hired me to manage your money for one or more of the following reasons:
- You don’t know how to do it yourself.
- You don’t want to do it yourself; you prefer to have a professional (or me) make these decisions & take some of the onus off of you.
- You want someone to blame when things are choppy.
This would be like going to a strip club & suggesting that you are the one to disrobe and insisting you pay the young woman to watch you do so. (I have done this, by the way) [Editor’s Note: That’s a true story]
2. You don’t want to do it yourself.
This is sort of like when my girlfriend asks me what she should order at a restaurant. She might even narrow the choice down to two options for me, making my job that much easier. I choose one of the two and, invariably, her response is “Really? Are you sure you don’t want [the other choice]??”
3. You want someone to blame when things are choppy.
Did you hear the story about the girl who graduated from Monroe College a few years back and wasn’t able to find a job? She felt justified in suing her alma mater for the entirety of her tuition costs, $72,000. I wonder if, conversely, she would have made a large donation if she had graduated during an economic boom and secured a large starting salary.
What I actually say:
“I really want you to consider this change. Take a day or two to think about it. If you insist we leave things as they are, ultimately it is your money and your decision. You’re the CEO, I’m just trying to give you the best advice I can as your professional. Remember, I only earn more when your account value goes up — I don’t have a hidden agenda — we are in this together (unlike your retail broker).
I’ll give you a call tomorrow to review again, how does that sound?”