Advisor Websites: Aspirational White People, Ponies & Mountains

Advisor websites suck. Almost all of them. They are either too vague, too lofty, too technical, or too white. Yeh, I said it… too white.

Do they really think ponies and pictures of mountainsides will create enough momentum for me to move my money? Is this an emotional or logical decision?

I submit to you, fine reader, that our entire industry needs a reboot in the pants. The content alone–  it’s always the same.

Sound Familiar?

What we do: {The name of the guilty has been redacted from this script.}

______’s approach to preserving and expanding wealth is a blend of financial strategy, investment philosophy, and risk management. Through careful research and by drawing on past experience, we help you achieve your personal financial goals. We protect our clients’ investments, increase liquidity, and diversify portfolios – all with the goal of reducing investment risk. With our unique set of strategies and solutions, _______  is the first step to take to ensure your family’s financial future.


Look Familiar?

10 thoughts on “Advisor Websites: Aspirational White People, Ponies & Mountains

  1. finanSTYLE

    Can I add a few cliche’d icons to your advisor clip art list? Chess pieces, doric columns and cleanly paved roads meandering gently off into the horizon.

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  6. Ellie K

    You’re right! I hadn’t thought about it before, or maybe I’m just visiting the wrong websites. Look at the middle photo. Feel the weight of three generations’ combined attention… like the eye of Sauron, same intensity, sans malevolence. “Trust”, “need”, “admiration”, “expectation”! So much pressure! Better not choose an unreliable investment adviser! Talk about not subtle

    Re 1st image. I’m allowed to say this, because I’m female and over forty, okay? That guy needs to be with a younger woman. He looks good. She looks elderly. (Scott, I need to follow you here, instead of on Tumblr. This is much more eclectic, insightful and snark-ful!)

  7. iheartWallSt

    Yeah, the tumblr thing — I just don’t have enough time right now… thanks for sticking around.

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